Heater, Mother of Lance

Baby bird

Last night as I was changing Marlo into her pajamas I found a half-chewed piece of graham cracker, a swath of dried applesauce and two Cheerios tucked right inside the lip of her diaper. And no, I certainly did not experience an inexplicable urge to shove the crumbs into my mouth to avoid having to walk across the room to the trash can. Not one bit.

I’m glad no one else was in the room.

Marlo is a ravenous eater and has yet to refuse anything we’ve offered her. I’m not taking this as a sign of anything, though, because Leta was exactly the same way until she staged a hunger strike at eighteen months. She doesn’t like us to bring up the fact that she used to eat anything, what she probably remembers as The Dark Years, and now when we ask her to try new things she says sure. When she’s seven. But not until then. Have I mentioned that she writes our legal documents?

Anyway, Marlo crawls around with her mouth open. If she she sees you eating something from across the room she will motor over, up and around obstacles, and climb up your body to get at whatever it is. Once I was slicing a lemon to put in a glass of water, and she sat on the floor and tugged at my leg, her head slung backward, mouth wide open. And I was all, okay then. You asked for it, kid! And then I cackled wildly as I handed her a juicy rind.

And now she has a new favorite treat:

  • table4five

    2010/05/07 at 8:10 am

    That is SO CUTE, Heather! That shoulder shrug with the dimply smile made me melt. I’ll never understand the lemon thing, though. Just the thought makes my mouth pucker!

  • miaagg

    2010/05/07 at 8:20 am

    This is just the cutest thing ever. EVER I TELL YOU. My uterus is alerting me that i need one of these…but i’ll have to wait.

  • editor ally

    2010/05/07 at 8:22 am

    oh. my. god. she is so damn cute. I mean really!

  • napangel

    2010/05/07 at 9:33 am

    You need to QUIT posting pictures and video of this baby. I’m 48 years old and need to ovulate LESS not MORE.

  • tiny apple

    2010/05/07 at 9:38 am

    we order extra lemons “for our water” at restaurants, just so our 4 year old can sit and eat them like slices of orange. happiness is going out without her and ordering an ice tea and getting to KEEP THE LEMON that comes with it.

  • MeganPaige

    2010/05/07 at 10:50 am

    So that is the cutest baby video I’ve ever seen. Ever, ever. Marlo just drop-kicked those stupid Evian rollerskating babies into oblivion with the power of her dimple.

    That is all.

  • CindysClipboard

    2010/05/07 at 12:27 pm

    My mom tells me I used to suck on lemons all the time when I was a toddler. She said I loved them. Now, I don’t like the taste of lemon. I must have burned myself out on that taste when I was young!

  • ERStolpe

    2010/05/07 at 2:14 pm

    My ovaries are singin’ the blues every time she smiles…
    I’m sorry to echo the factoid about the acid in lemons. Daily exposure to so much acid is disaster on baby teeth and the health of baby teeth determines a lot about the health of adult teeth.
    My friend Nancy does that to lemons and her teeth are BROWN, no kidding.

  • painterdoll

    2010/05/07 at 2:16 pm

    One question, Heather. How do you LIVE with all of that cuteness??! My eyes nearly just fell out of my head from cuteness overload! : ) The only thing that saved me from having this actually happen to me was that I have built up my immunity by having the cutest ever Chihuahua in my house for two years…

  • ORKMommy

    2010/05/07 at 3:52 pm

    My daughter used to love lemons. She’d make the most adorable scrunched up face when she’d put it in her mouth but then she’d keep eating it!

    Heather, as much as I don’t want to be a hater I have to say that you post an awful lot on here about Marlo but we haven’t heard much about Leta lately. Isn’t she nearing the end of her Kindergarten year? What’s she been up to lately? Has she read Tolstoy yet? When can we get more pics of that adorable new hairdo and glasses we saw a while back? We just don’t want to miss out on the Leta stuff because Marlo is such a ham! 🙂

  • karacter

    2010/05/07 at 7:58 pm

    Chewing the lemon wouldn’t be as much of an issue if she had some bourbon on the rocks to twist that in. Well, then you’ve got the choking on ice cubes to worry about. God, being a mother is exhausting.

  • angelynn

    2010/05/08 at 1:14 am

    Such a cute video. I kept waiting for the sour face but got those sweet giggles. My boys (ages 2 & 4) are incredibly picky right now. We keep trying new foods, but they’re so reluctant. I’ll be thankful when it passes. It passes right?

  • Bluestalking

    2010/05/08 at 10:13 pm

    OMG! I think my ovaries just exploded!!! Repeat to self: I CANNOT have another one… I CANNOT have another one…

  • HumHumViz

    2010/05/10 at 8:06 am

    Ahhh, so sweet! Yum, lemon rind. She looks so much like she’s having a full conversation with her eyes. I totally understand the problem of having her crawling and looking for things. Our first was totally a ZEN child and the second was Dr. David Livingston, sure that Victoria Falls was somewhere in the washing machine.

    One day I came home and asked my husband where she was and he sort of looked around to realize it was totally quiet. I panicked and ran around searching and found her in her BIG Sisters room, not playing with anything but BRUSHING HER TWO BABY TEETH WITH A TOILET BRUSH! I am not kidding. She had gone into the bathroom, got the brush, hid in her sisters room and TA DA!! Instant potty mouth.

    I opened the door and she said, “BRUSH TEETH” with a big smile. Not wanting to totally freak her out like I did with my first about eating gum she pulled off the underside of a Starbucks table, I calmly went in, took the brush and the baby back into the bathroom, washed her mouth with water…

    And then my husband went for a vasectomy because the one I wanted to give him didn’t involve anesthesia.

  • InfamousQBert

    2010/05/14 at 1:57 pm

    i was totally that kid! my mom shoved a lemon in my mouth at a restaurant, probably at about this age, and i was HOOKED! like, up through middle school i remember getting a plate of lemons any time we out to eat. awesome!

  • InfamousQBert

    2010/05/14 at 2:00 pm

    also, properly nurtured, this can turn into a super power where she can impress people with her ability to eat REALLY sour things without flinching. much as i did in college. it’s a great 3 in the morning drunk at the 7-11 kind of trick.

  • shebiz

    2011/04/04 at 12:41 am

    OMG, she is sooo adorable and cute… summer infant monitor

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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