the smell of my desperation has become a stench


Here’s what the dogs looked like for about an hour after we scattered their dinner into the yard. Yes, an hour. In fact, I had to drag them inside because they were certain there were more morsels to find. NOTE: I made sure to clean up all the dog poop before attempting this because, yeah. DESSERT!

You hear experts talking all the time about a dog’s sense of smell, like it’s 10,000 to 100,000 times as acute as a human’s sense. It’s scientific, right? But sometimes I will toss Chuck a piece of cheese and it will land just behind him and he couldn’t find it if I drew him a map. I’m like, YOU ARE A DOG FOR CYRING OUT LOUD. I guess maybe this sense needs to be exercised? So here we are. Training my dog to be a dog.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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