the smell of my desperation has become a stench

The ornamenting

Every year I take the girls shopping to pick out a Christmas ornament for the tree, and this year Marlo chose this felt lamb thinking that it was a furry puppy. It all went down like this:

“I want this puppy,” she said while cupping this ornament in her hand.

“Marlo, the tag says that this is a lamb,” I said to her because I did not want her to accuse me of subterfuge ten years from now and be all YOU LED ME TO BELIEVE THAT WAS A DOG.

“No, it’s a puppy,” she insisted.

I tried to appeal to her softer side for the sake of reasoning and offered, “A lamb is a baby sheep! You want this baby sheep for your ornament this year?”

“I WANT THIS SHEEP DOG!” This declaration was so adamant that the glass ornaments on a nearby tree rattled.

A sheep dog. I stopped arguing right then because she is brilliant.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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