• http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=8825525 Kathleen Salvador

    hysterical!!

  • Jen Wilson

    Enemas are so horrid. My then-9-year-old had intense abdominal pain and I had no idea what was going on (I thought appendix, since I’d had mine out at about the same time), but nope, it was poop. Too much poop. So, an enema and 15 minutes of pooping later, we were home. My daughter walked in the door, looked at my husband, and said, “I DON’T want to walk about it.” We still (lovingly) tease her about that. (She’s got a sense of humour, she can take it.)

    Also, thank you for making me snort-laugh. I needed that this morning.

  • Jen Wilson

    This is what happened to my kid. Got so backed up she had to be on stool softeners for three months till her colon could go back to normal.

    Just because it’s rarely talked about doesn’t mean it’s not a regular occurrence for many kids/parents.

  • Megan Gordon

    Totally yelling “butt medicine” at the top of my lungs at some point – preferrably at one of my son’s school events. He was three once too. Paybacks.

  • Tina Beveridge

    Dangit I’m laughing so hard my eyes are watering and mascara is running. But it is comforting to know my kid isn’t the only one who screams embarrassing things.

  • Tina Beveridge

    and usually fall asleep in a different place than they wake up.

  • Tina Beveridge

    My husband just told me that when he was a kid, his cousin called sanitary pads “Mommy diapers”

  • PandoraHasABox

    All I gotta say about glitter and crafts with kids is that if you are compelled to engage in such activities, school is the best place possible. Some one else will have to deal with all the glerpes fallout.

  • Arnebya

    Alternating between yelling I PEED IN THE MOTHERFUCKING CUP and BUTT MEDICINE on the subway today, just to make it a more interesting commute home.

  • MissyMooMoo

    miralax was a miracle drug for us. Our son had major trouble with holding his bowel movement from 3 years of age to 9 years of age. I had to give him an enema at the doctor’s office once. If that hadn’t worked, he would had to go into the hospital to have the poop removed. He now tells his younger sister when she is holding on to hers; to go an poop because it is very bad. He periodically asks me if she has pooped recently. How many 15 y.o. boys worry about their younger siste;s poop!
    When he was beginning toliet training, he wouldn’t let us change his diapers when there was a poop sometimes. He would tells us “that it was sleeping.” The it being his poop.

  • Forrester L

    dooce, the way you tell a story, i just love it! And I love how I can comment on your posts again instead of having to log into the community.

  • Jen

    I love this and had to send it to my husband. This fall my three year old had a rectal prolapse (ever seen one of those? You will think your kid is dying…google it…dare ya…) and it did it 3 times…so we had to call it his “butt owie” because telling him “your butt is falling out, would be a bit traumatic”. Apparently this is common?

    BTW…I’ll make that batch of cookies… ;)

  • Teal

    I have Spina Bifida (a neural tube defect) which means that I have no bowel or bladder control. I’ve had many, many, many enemas in my life. If I wasn’t getting an enema, my mom was chasing me around the house with Saran wrap on her finger…just use your imagination! For the longest time, the “Cheers” theme song would remind me being constipated because I would sit on the toilet and listen to that show while trying to go, usually unsuccessfully. I had surgery to help the situation, but things didn’t regulate until I was 19. Yep, it’s been a long, and winding, and stinky road to Poopdom in my life!

  • Sally

    My 7 yr old gets constipated any time there is a change in routine. We’re partial to pear juice and prunes, and me asking “have you pooped today?” and then demanding that she drink pear juice, eat a prune and GO SIT ON THE TOILET! Luckily, I’ve never had to administer an enema! But I did get to look at an x-ray of her intestines filled with poop. I can’t wait until I don’t have to worry about my children’s excrement.

  • http://twitter.com/HowToBeADad Charlie N Andy

    “Hey Dad, Please don’t ever write about me getting enemas.” -My son traveling back in time to stop me from writing about enemas. And him. For the future.

  • http://www.facebook.com/maggie.h.lukes Maggie Hirsch Lukes

    I have a friend who used to call it “the fecal finger of death.”

  • http://waitingforskittle.blogspot.com/ Waiting for Skittle

    I tried giving my kid some oral laxatives to make him go. He hated them. We informed him he was getting an enema if he didn’t take them. He informed me he would rather take his poop medicine, “Up the butt” that swallow that stuff, so up the butt it was.

    He’s one day older than Marlo. I have to say I would have chugged the drink.

  • http://www.londonscarves.com/ London Scarves Wholesaler Shop

    Do I have the same Childhood? Maybe not!

  • Nephthys48

    Yeah, great analogy. I’m trying to remember where I heard it first. Lewis Black comes to mind, but I’m not certain.

  • Mrs. K-6

    My son’s preschool puts their glue in bowls and give the kids paintbrushes. This is what has caused my son to be afraid of cookie frosting utilized in the same manner. Yours was way more funny though.